Some Methods to Combat Daily Anxiety

Anxiety is often caused by a fear of something you believe may happen, rather than an actual event. Be aware of yourself and recognise when you start to feel anxious. Breathe slowly to help you to focus, then identify the specific thing that is causing your anxiety. What is it that you think might happen? Why do you believe this will happen. You may be thinking of several possible scenarios or outcomes. Look at each one objectively and establish what it is about each possible situation that makes you anxious. Some situations are out of your control but you can control how you respond or react.

Ask yourself these questions:
What specifically am I afraid will happen?
What is the likely outcome of the situation I am imagining?
What action can I take to avoid this situation from occuring?
How have I dealt with situations like this in the past?
If I am unable to avoid the situation from occuring, what can I do to minimise it’s impact, using the skills and strengths I already have?
Whatever the outcome, how important will this feel one week from now? Or one month?
Let’s look at the example of being stuck in traffic and feeling stressed and anxious. Are you worried about being late for work? There is likely to be a much more specific outcome that is making you anxious. So what are the possible outcomes of being late? You could get behind with your workload and beunable to catch up, or are you worried about being in trouble with your boss if you are late? Are you already envisaging having to spend the rest of the day working extra hard to try and catch up, apologising to customers and colleagues affected by you falling behind? Are you dreading a difficult conversation with your boss about timekeeping?
Accept the things that you cannot control, in this case the traffic. You can, however, control your beliefs, your reaction and your response. In this example you could take back control by phoning ahead to warn the boss that you will be late. Agree to work through your break or stay late to catch up. Think of the tasks you need to do and change the priorities is necessary, so that urgent work is done first. Understand that your boss may have to speak to you about being late, but don’t take it personally. Remind yourself that this is just part of their responsibility when running a business. The conversation may happen, but then you can move forward.

Putting things in context and seeing the bigger picture makes them much easier to handle. The lack of control can be stressful enough in itself, but breaking a situation down into elements that you can control makes it much more manageable.

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For help with personal development, having a positive outlook, overcoming your barriers and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)

Things to stop doing – things to do instead

THINGS TO STOP DOING  ( THINGS TO DO INSTEAD )

Procrastinating   (Taking action)

Blaming yourself or others (Accepting then moving forward)

Avoiding  (Preparing and then facing)

Trying to control everything  (Control what you can, accept what you can’t)

Negative self talk  (Treating yourself with love and kindness)

Judging/criticising  (Accepting without judgment)

Running from your fears  (Figuring out why you’re afraid, then challenging)

Living in the past  (Living in the present, being open to the future)

Trying to be who you are not  (Being authentic)

Being ungrateful   (Practising daily gratitude)

Over-reacting   (Keeping things in perspective)

Need some help? Try coaching. Take a look around the site to see if you would prefer online, telephone, or outdoor coaching (Herts area) and email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com

To join the Unfold Your Wings Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, books and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘subscribe’ tab on the menu. You can like Unfold Your Wings on Facebook or follow me on Twitter by following the links on this site.

Three Top Tips to Make More Time for You

1. Keep a detailed diary for two weeks and record exactly how you spend every minute of your day. You will be amazed how much time you actually have and how you are wasting it on things that aren’t important. Start to think of your time like a currency, and you will be much more careful where you are spending it.

2. List the things that you have to do each day, the things you do which you enjoy, and the things you wish you had more time for. Be as selfish as you want to, after all this is your time, and everyone else has their own 24 hours to spend as they choose, so don’t allocate your time doing things for other people unless it’s something you really want to do for them, or something really important which they couldn’t do for themselves.

3. Draw up a blank table for two weeks and start to enter all the things from your list in order of importance to you. Double up tasks where you can to save time (make tomorrows picnic lunch while waiting for dinner to cook, run errands on the way home from work to avoid making extra trips). Take advantage of supermarkets home deliveries for groceries. You will be surprised how much time you have when you are more mindful of how you spend it. If there are things which are just for you, treat them with as much importance as you would going to work or attending an appointment. You are more likely to do something if you have a specific time allocated to it.

To join the Unfold Your Wings Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, books and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘subscribe’ tab on the menu.
For help with personal development, having a positive outlook, overcoming your barriers and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)

Three Top Tips to De-stress or Distract You

1. Get out in nature. Go for a walk in the woods, feed the ducks at the park, sit by a lake and watch the wildlife. Fresh air and nature are amazing healers and de-stressers. Even if it’s cold and wet, a short five minute break outside can really help you regain control and focus.

2. Do something creative. Bake a cake, knit a hat, paint a picture, plant flowers in the garden or a window box, write a poem, use your imagination and let creativity flow. Even people who say they aren’t creative can manage to plant a few herbs in a pot or colour in a picture. Either have a finished product in mind and focus on creating it, or just see where your imagination takes you and enjoy the creative process.

3. De-clutter, clean up and re-organise. Having a good clear out of clutter is so satisfying and the end result will be a clearer and more relaxing environment. Get the rubbish sacks ready, fill up boxes for the charity shop, open windows, wash all the linen and dry it outside if you can. Be free of all the things that no longer serve a purpose for you, and enjoy relaxing in the space you create.

To join the Unfold Your Wings Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, books and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘subscribe’ tab on the menu.
For help with personal development, having a positive outlook, overcoming your barriers and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)

Three Top Confidence Boosters

1. Don’t criticise yourself. It sounds obvious but we can be our own worst enemies. Negative self talk isn’t helpful and can only harm your self-esteem. You wouldn’t do it to someone else, so don’t treat yourself in this way either. Treat yourself with kindness and respect.

2. When your confidence is low, or before facing a personal challenge, write down your best attributes. This can be hard at first if you aren’t used to giving yourself praise, so start with the little things. Maybe you make a great cup of coffee, or you always remember people’s birthdays. Think of all your talents, physical attributes, and great personality traits. Use this list whenever you need a confidence boost or extra courage to take on a new challenge.
3. Treat yourself well. Make a list of things you enjoy. It doesn’t have mean spending huge amounts of cash but you can if you want to, after all you are worth it. Perhaps you love long walks in the countryside, going to the theatre, even just a couple of hours to yourself to read a great book without interruptions, or going for a swim. Make a date with yourself to do each of these things as often as you can manage, and stick to it.

To join the Unfold Your Wings Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, books and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘subscribe’ tab on the menu.
For help with personal development, having a positive outlook, overcoming your barriers and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)

Coaching with a Difference

People with learning disabilities and differences experience life in their own very individual way, and this can lead to difficulty in communication, self-expression, building relationships and often challenging behaviour.

Few coaches offer specialised services for people with learning disabilities. I have several years experience of working with people who have learning disabilities and have supported people with confidence building, self-expression, communication,  travel training, building community links and support to work in volunteer roles. I have provided intensive interaction for people with complex and multiple needs to help enhance communication and build relationships with others. I am able to use Makaton to enhance verbal and non-verbal communication.

I have an enhanced DBS check which is reviewed annually, and qualifications in Health and Social care. I also have specific training in working with individuals with autism, complex and multiple needs, learning disabilities with mental health issues, intensive interaction, sensory differences and the role of positive touch, and supporting individuals with challenging behaviour.

I prefer to work alongside parents or carers, partly because of the vulnerable nature of this particular client group, but also because parents and carers knowledge of the client  is essential to the success of any program. It’s also important to share skills and techniques with the people who are central to the life of the client so that they can continue to build confidence and communication long after the program has finished. Each session will include feedback and idea sharing with parents and carers.

At present I am only able to offer this service in Hertfordshire and surrounding areas.

Services will depend entirely on the needs of the individual, but include intensive interaction, enhancing communication, identifying causes of challenging behaviour, and coaching to build confidence. Please contact me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com, using the title ‘Coaching with a Difference’ in your email.

This service is not intended to, and does not, replace the essential services provided by your healthcare professionals, but is a way of enhancing the services and support you already receive.

Three Top Tips for Having a Great Day

1. Gratitude! Begin by appreciating the smallest positive things. If you struggle to think of anything at first, start by appreciating the lack of negative things and you will soon find loads to be grateful for. Keep this going for the whole day and you will realise how amazing your life is. It will become harder to find negatives, or they won’t seem as important.

2. Spread kindness. Smile at people that you pass as you go about your day. Let people drive out ahead of you in queues of traffic, hold doors open for people, pay compliments to friends and colleagues, do something for someone and expect nothing in return. Do this and the people around you will get a boost, they will pass this on to the people they encounter, and your environment will be much more positive.

3. Don’t carry around your emotional baggage all day. If there is a problem or worry that you can’t do anything about right now, or that doesn’t need immediate attention, set it aside for later. Write it down if that helps, and agree a time with yourself when you can think about it later. Don’t let worries impact on your whole day. You will often find that when you come back to something later it won’t seem as important or you may have found the solution. Especially if you have been following steps 1 and 2.

To join the Unfold Your Wings Life Coaching Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, book news and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘join us’ tab on the menu.
For help with personal development, tackling anxiety, overcoming your barriers and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)

What if…..?

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What if I told you about a young lady I’ve been working with, who struggles to form relationships with others?

What if I told you that she has difficulty in coping in new situations?

What if I told you that she finds it hard to manage her anxiety and this causes her to avoid or remove herself from situations she finds difficult?

What if I told you that she finds everyday life stressful and challenging?

What if I told you that I took her somewhere she had never been before, in a total change to her routine, with a group of people she had never met before, where it’s noisy and chaotic at times, but there was an opportunity for ecotherapy.

What if I told you she coped amazingly well? The smile on her face while focused on watering plants shows how well she is learning to overcome her personal barriers.

and,

What if I told you that this young lady has autism?

Three Top Tips for Achieving your Goals

1. Have a clear and specific goal and be sure of your motivation. What is the reason you want this outcome? Be honest with yourself about the reasons you want something.

2. State your goal as a positive outcome. Have something that you want and work towards getting it, rather than something that you want to move away from or give up. This will make it easier to take action and make a huge difference to your results.

3. Break up your plan to reach your goal into small, realistically manageable steps. Acknowledge and celebrate each achievement as you go along. When you only take one small step at a time the process won’t seem as overwhelming. If something doesn’t work then you only have to go back one step and try something different instead, rather than sacrifice your whole plan.

To join the Unfold Your Wings Life Coaching Community and receive the monthly newsletter with, motivation, inspiration, book news and offers direct to your inbox, click this link http://eepurl.com/ToyJz  or go to the ‘join us’ tab on the menu.
For help with personal development, overcoming your barriers, tackling anxiety and achieving your goals, email me at unfoldyourwings@outlook.com.
I love hearing your success stories and experiences, so email me at the address above if you have something you want to share.
Ruth  :-)